i shouda, coulda....

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some might view this post as superficial and judge me based off this post- i polity ask not to do so. 

we have all made mistakes but only some of us have regrets that we hold onto.

i would like to share one of those regrets to all you out there- i want to "write it down" and let it go. 

when the weather turns cold like this it brings back memories of when ry proposed to me up in rexburg, id- it was a cold winter day. 

he took me to the greenhouse of the byu-i campus- it was the only pretty place around during the winter time- and completely (yes, completely) surprised me by getting down on one knee and proposing to me. it was a very happy time and that moment is very dear to me. except one thing- the ring. 

overpriced (more so than other diamond rings) and not my style.

i disliked it a lot. of course i only told two people how I felt about the ring- G and B. I thought they would understand. B told me never to tell ry about my feelings because it would hurt his. I decided to not say a word. I wore the ring on my wedding day and for the first couple months of our marriage. but i am a woman who really has to like what she wears- like most women i think. 

one night after crying about it and talking to E on the phone. E was very sweet and calming. she having similar taste and good fashion sense straight up told me to be up front with him.

i finally broke down and told ry. he simply said. "why didnt you tell me sooner? i really dont care what ring you wear. i just want you to be happy."

after that- the ring bothered me less. my mother stepped in and let me wear her baby/anniversary ring that i cherish immensely- it was the gift my father gave to her after I was born. my ama (grandma) gave me her wedding band that she wore all her life as a wedding present to us. 

all this time i was concerned that i would be hurting ry's feelings when really- i just needed to be upfront and open.

there are times when ry isnt comfortable getting me gifts because he fears that i will get angry or dislike it or view it as "a waste of money"- all stemming back to the very first gift he got me.

this of course is my own fault and my one regret.